As Time Goes By
December 14, 2005 | Remembering
Sometimes in our individual world sadness abounds. There’s nothing we can do to alter the course of the universe and stop certain events from happening. It’s just a simple fact of life.
Nine years ago this evening, 6:05p.m. central standard time, I lost my best friend, my lover, the man who had filled my soul. My husband.
This is a day I have no humor. In my house there is no music, no cooking, only work and tears to help me get past these dreaded twenty-four hours as I hold the image of his long hours of dying close to my heart.
Every year on this day I’ve made it a point to reflect on our life and how good it was, only surpassed by a stronger effort to ignore the arguments and any negative occurances which took place. It’s amazing how those unhappy incidents have diminshed over the years.
I’m not one to hang crepe, elevate a mortal man to sainthood, but Chuck was a Good Man. He used to complain I should tell people he was well endowed, not exactly his words, or anything else but he was good. To him it meant he was boring. Nothing was farther from the truth. He’d grown up as a very poor boy in Oklahoma with a mediocre education. After years of floundering, he took charge of his life and became a man of substance, quality. He loved his life and family, especially his “Little Girl”.
Today our daughter called, to remember Dad. She was upset I seemed to have forgotten this horrible anniversary. Again, nothing was farther from the truth. We hung up not the best of friends but I could do nothing to overcome the privacy I must retain. Because you see, all I have left are the silent memories of a life now gone.
Sloane
Oh, S. {{{{hugs}}}} to you and your daughter.
On December 14th, 2005 at 2:28 pmAh, Sloane. You actually made me cry. I’m so sorry for your loss and the continuing sadness it brings, even as you endeavor to remember the great times with this good man. Wish I could wrap you up in a hug.
On December 14th, 2005 at 3:20 pmSloane, I feel your sadness, but you’ve learned to deal with the pain, look at it, grieve with it, and move on. Annie Lennox in one of her songs, said ‘Dying is easy, it’s living that scares me to death.’ Take time to remember, Dru is probably afraid you’ve moved on with Studly and will forget her father. That could cause her anger, but you haven’t forgotten, she’ll figure it out.
On December 14th, 2005 at 3:33 pm