Lettuce anyone?

January 31, 2006

It’s time to put your manuscript on a diet. Cinch your belt as tight as you can and let’s self-edit.

What’s self-edit? It means you eliminate all the fat, all the extra words that don’t move the story forward, and all the passive words bogging down your scenes.

REUNDANCIES are unnecessary words over describing an action.

The following are examples and if you look hard you’re bound to find several in your work.

• David pulled out the bench and sat down in the chair.
The word ‘down’ is unnecessary because that’s the only way David could sit.

• David jumped up. OR David stood up.
‘Up’ is unnecessary because, again, that’s the only way he could go.

• Melissa shrugged her shoulders.
I love this one because it eliminates two words, ‘her shoulders’. What else could Melissa shrug?

• Melissa loved to see David’s well-toned chest and how it tapered down to his narrow waist.
‘Well’ and ‘down’ go. The sentence should read;
Melissa loved to see David’s toned chest and how it tapered to his narrow waist.
The corrected version is cleaner and right to the point.

A few other examples are;

• Blue in color
• Climbed up the stairs
• Eased slowly
• Nodded his head
• Stomped heavily
• Stood to his full height
• Terribly bad

PASSIVE WORDS are used in our speech but should never be used in writing. You’re telling a story and must keep the action moving. These words are showing not telling.

• Is
• Might
• Seemed
• Started to
• Was
• Were

Readers want action therefore you must construct your sentences with powerful verbs.

The same reasoning applies to ADVERBS and ADJECTIVES. The following is but a small select and offer little to help paint a picture.

• A little
• Almost
• Even
• Just
• Perhaps
• So
• Some
• Very
• When

Most, if not all, adverbs and adjectives weaken your writing and need to be eliminated from your story.

PREPOSITIONS are not your best friend. Go through your work and highlight every preposition, including prepositional phrases. If you have an abundance you must clear them out to create stronger sentences.

THAT is a word we seldom need in a sentence. Its filler and a word you need to eliminate from your writing and your vocabulary.

The Best Tip of the Day;

Do a word search to discover how many times you’ve used a specific word. Reread your sentence and replace the overused word with something stronger.

Friday we’ll discuss dialogue. Until then…

Happy writing!
Sloane

Sloane said @ 10:46 am | It's All About Writing

8 Responses to “Lettuce anyone?”


  1. Jenna Howard Says:

    So…is a reundancy different then a redundancy? And maybe Melissa has really good muscle control in her bosoms and she can flex them. Did anyone ask her? lol.

    Passive words suck. Suck I say! I’m very susceptible to those. It’s the submissive in me. 😛

  2. Sloane Says:

    SHIT!!!!!!!! From now on I’m sending you the blogs to proof read, Sweet Jenn, because this effing machine doesn’t seem to have the capability!!!

    Poor Melissa is so old that her bra needs a bra.And you oughta get a load of David. ICK!!

    You’re not the only one susceptible. There’s a study for us to work on- are submissive writers prone to passive writing?

    Whadda think, sex kitten, are you up for it? Make a good blog for you.

  3. For The Trees Says:

    Oh, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy!!! I just got through cutting out all the words on that short list of adverbs and adjectives, and my 86,000 word novel is now a 20,000 word short story!

    ZOWIE! You DO know how to knock the wind out of a guy’s sails!

    Thanks for the edit!

  4. Sherrill Quinn Says:

    Well, if I just take out all the “that’s” I’m in pretty good shape. 🙂

    And the trap of passive writing is extremely easy to fall into. (See there? How easy that was?)

  5. Jenna Howard Says:

    I suppose I’m more of a musemissive than a submissive. Will ponder this for a future blog. You know how I never have nothing to blog about.

  6. Sloane Says:

    I love you all and your fantastic wit. Thanks, guys, for keeping me on my toes.

  7. Yasmine Says:

    The delete button is an absolute wonder for writers.

  8. Sloane Says:

    Amen, Sister. It’s my favorite tool, for writing that is.