Is It or Isn’t It

March 20, 2006 | Friends

Last night Studly and I decided we need a night out after a wake and babysitting. Off we went to the local gin mill and met up with two of our favorite people, Lou and Sharon. They are greatest. Both are knowledgeable on every possible topic. As conversations tend to do, we rambled on until we stopped at Dolly Parton and the fireworks began.

Sharon and I agreed Dolly’s boobs are fake. Lou was adamant they are not. Studly nodded sagely and refused to commit himself. This discussion grew into an argument which developed into bar banging to stress our personal opinions.

Lou stated he had just heard an interview with Dolly who confirmed those huge melons were definitely hers. I relayed an interview I’d heard about twenty years ago where Dolly told the public Porter Wagner had said the pint-sized singer wasn’t big enough to be on his show. After that Dolly got implants and became a star. Sharon contributed the fact that women didn’t develop watermelons after puberty and lugging around gargantuan tits would have to produce major backaches. Studly announced we should never tell men a woman’s tits aren’t real. Men just can’t accept that.

Of course we’re still friends. We’ve had several discussions that would have busted apart lesser relationships, but we’re cool and appreciate everyone’s ideas, even if are guys are wrong.

So here’s my question to you all this morning – what’s your opinion on Dolly’s mammaries?


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12 Responses to “Is It or Isn’t It”

  1. Sherrill Quinn Says:

    Bosoms that size are not natural on a frame that little. I’ve got big boobs, too, and a lot of extra weight to go with them.

    Fake, I say.

  2. Beth Anderson Says:

    Fake. And they look awful with those broomstick legs.

    And now she’s wearing wigs in a style that would look a lot better on a 20 year old.

    Ol’ Dolly’s looking more every day like a parody of herself. It’s to the point where it isn’t even funny anymore.

    But she seems like a really sweet person. What’s y’all’s take on that?


  3. Sloane Says:

    Thanks, girls, I like it when we stick together.

    She seems almost too sweeet to be true but I’ve never heard anything to the contrary. Have you?

  4. Jenna Says:

    They’re fake. She’s announced it on several occasions that she had them engorged (enlarged is too tame a word).

    Anyone else looking at Pam Anderson and wondering when her chest is going to explode? What happens when she bends over? Do her boobs topple her? How does one sleep with melons that massive? Back? Wouldn’t that suffocate her? Stomach? Ditto? Side? Well she’d be propped up if nothing else.

    Oy. That’s all I have to say…oy.

  5. Sloane Says:

    Jenna, you are insane and i love your sense of humor!

  6. For The Trees Says:

    I refuse to weigh in on this. (That’s an old Navy term.) I can’t really say anything because I don’t have the problem. I DO have several friends who’ve had reduction surgery, because of the straps digging in so deep causing muscle problems and the backaches…And I can’t say anything about them, either.

    I WILL say, Damn, Sloane, you sure got a wonderful way of stirring up sentiments on your blog!

  7. Sloane Says:

    C’mon, Forrest, you chicken, are they real or fake? We need a man’s opinion!!

  8. Yasmine Says:

    Pam Anderson has had her implants removed, and new smaller ones put in. Can’t really tell. Dolly, well I think hers are too damn big. News Alert Starr Jones, just had surgery to REDUCE and tighten her boobies, because of all the weight she naturally lost. Ok, that’s another paranormal story!!

  9. Jenna Howard Says:

    She “naturally lost”??? Didn’t she have gastro-bypass surgery? That doesn’t sound natural to me.

    Pam had them removed until she lost her notoriety. Then she kept upping the ante until she’s some weird cartoon character now. Move over Jessica Rabbitt. Now her boobs are exploding from her chest. EXPLODING!! You can seriously see the skin begging “Help me!” when she wears a low top. My boobs hurt just thinking about having chin rests like that. Unless she had them shrunk within the past week. Then I’ll stand corrected.

    I watch way too much gossip tv and read far too many gossip blogs. Sigh.

  10. Sloane Says:

    “Tighten her boobies”, man I could go for that! I want you young chickees to learn a very important message from grandma, “Gravity is not your friend.”

    I never liked Pamela Anderson and could never figure out, beyond tits, what the big (no pun intended) deal was.

    Dolly, Starr, Pamela, holy shitta, it’s become a Rona Barret column!!

    Who else has fake tits? What’s your take on Sophia Loren? Damn, I’ll do anything so I don’t have to work.

  11. Studly's #1 kid :-) Says:

    Sharon –

    As a woman with her own “big boob” problems, I have to say that dolly is nothing short of being an aero-bed. I can’t even imagine what her backaches are like!!! Sorry dad, but those tits are fake!!!!! 🙂

  12. Sloane Says:

    See World! I told you Bean was a genius!!